Sitting on my terrace

I found the answer to that math problem everyone’s talking about

And realized nine things you’re doing wrong in the shower.


Walking across Alexanderplatz

I saw a frozen chicken truck burst into flames after collision with a milk truck

And realized I’m now ready for a commitment after years of hot sex.


Standing on the subway platform

I decided rejecting torture is the right thing to do

And realized what lewd messages are hidden in advertisements.


Drinking in the airport bar

I pondered the most pleasant way to respond to negative people

And realized why we need a global approach to tackling the illegal wildlife trade.


Dreaming in my bed

I felt the images I saw proved how crazy the world has become

And realized why you shouldn’t make taffy or pump iron with your vagina.


Listening to you

I heard if I would just lose five pounds, I would be beautiful

And realized, it’s so easy, really, to miss your own life.